Moms are Too hard on Our Self for not being Perfect

We Forgive Others

Why do we as moms forgive everyone but ourselves? Think about it. Yesterday your son didn’t pick up anything you ask him to. Last weekend your daughter snapped at you 4 times in a 20 minute window because she was feeling stressed. Your husband forgot to pick up the prescriptions, so instead of having a few minutes to sit down and relax you are heading out the door. Now think about later on those nights ~ the kids are asleep and you look at them and think~ how could I love anyone more? How lucky am I to have this family? There is no left over frustration ~ just love. Well sometimes a little leftover frustration but you get my point. moms are not perfect

Now think about when we forget something. Didn’t get the uniform washed. Snapped that evening because we were busy all day and just feel exhausted. Or maybe something more serious ~ we assumed one of our kids was being difficult and so we yelled only to realize later it was all a mix up and now know we have hurt their feelings. We hold on to these things for days sometimes years. We are so upset with our self. It doesn’t matter that we lovingly made lunches for our kids, got them the homework they forgot at home, or baked 48 cupcakes for their bake sale.  Or ~  that we never sat down that day because there were not  enough hours in the day.

NO one is perfect

No one is perfect. We don’t expect it of others. Why do we expect it of ourselves? Why are we so hard on our self when we make a mistake? Why do we hang onto it forever and let it eat at us? Why are we so easy to forgive or give compassion to others and hold onto every mistake we ourselves have made?

Now is the part where I tell you why. Oh no sorry…….. ~I have no idea.

However, I will tell you one thing I know ~ we have to stop. We love our children. We are making a conscious decision everyday to do what’s best for them. I believe it was Dr. James Dobson (child psychiatrist) who said you can really never go wrong if you are parenting out of love.  Think I paraphrased that, but it was close. It is time we understand our children need good parents not perfect ones.

I have a notebook upstairs that was my sons from when he was younger. In it he wrote,  “I am a bad son”. I don’t remember what was going on that made him sad ~ it was   probably from 8 or 9 years ago. But I have hung onto it to “remind myself” that I made a mistake and caused my son to be so sad. What the heck am I thinking? I am a good parent!! Not perfect by any means but good. Do I really need to torture myself to prove it?

As I was writing this post I took a break and made lunch. While I was eating, I was trying to catch up on Facebook and came across a post called “Not a Perfect Mom, but an Enough Mom“. As I read it, I thought this was fate because she put it so well. Take some time to read it please. We as moms need to remind each other that we really do enough ~ that we are enough.  We as moms are not perfect ~  but we are the parents that our kids need. Also keep in mind, do we really want them to grow up thinking they must be perfect too? That is a lot of stress to put on our children. So, if you won’t do it for yourself (and you really need to) do it for them.

Oh yes and one more thing I am going upstairs right now ~ taking that notebook outside and burning it!!

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