If you go back and read my About Me page, I go into some detail of why I started this blog~ this is the longer version and hopefully the beginning of the journey back!
I gave all of the pieces of myself away. Then one day when there was a pause in my life ~ I looked into the mirror and there was no one there. How do you be a mother, a wife, a person when there is nothing left?
It happened slowly over time. No one demanded it of me, nor did I do it purposefully. I love my husband and my children more than words could ever express. All the things I did (most the things) were because I wanted to, so we could all have the things important to us. Over time though, when time was short, and I was tired ~ things had to be discarded. You paid for their lesson- they must go, your husband is coaching the team- you can’t miss practice, school work must be done!
So it happens, you begin to stop doing the things that are important to you, that you once enjoyed. Your family is the most important thing in the world to you ~ so you do not comprehend what you are giving up of yourself. Until you realize there is little joy in what you are doing ~ instead they are just items being crossed off a list. You feel empty and there is nothing more to give to the people you love the most. The cycle continues and you have no idea what is even causing this sadness you feel.
Then one day you are out ~ away for a few minutes from your usual routine and for a brief second you catch a small glimpse of the person you once were. It happens so quickly and so shockingly that for a moment you cannot catch your breath and you stand there scared, amazed, and baffled at this revelation. You were once a person of your own right ~ with her own wants and needs. However, time does not stop and you must move on. Deep inside you know something has changed. Not big ~ but small and quiet. She is still there ~ the person you have forgotten and that was erased.
How do we begin to reclaim the person we once were? Time does not stop for us to figure it out. You have to do the basics ~~feeding your kids, laundry, errands, job, and the list goes on. The truth is ~ I do not know.
That is one of the reasons I started this blog. So I could help you, and you could help me. Hopefully together ~ we can show women how important it is to make time for ourselves without the guilt. What time is there for us to take this journey? Once again ~ I do not know ~ but we have to find it. We have to make time for ourselves a priority. Otherwise how can we keep giving to the ones we love.
Right now as I am writing this, I am fighting the urge to stop. Everyone is coming home and dinner is not made. I’m losing my concentration but I have decided to finish this important post that is very personal to me.
If you have felt this way, please join me in searching for what we have forgotten or lost. If you are a young mom, let us warn you to not take the same path. You can be a great mother and still take the night off. If you are not a mom, this can be a place for you too. I see young women forging ahead today only concerned about the next “goal”. Not taking the time to enjoy that accomplishment before they move on to the next one. Tell us something you have done for yourself lately. Maybe we will be inspired to spend some time with that person in the mirror. Maybe we will be kinder to her tomorrow.
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